Life Is For Sowing. The Harvest Is Not Here Yet.
by Deacon Sue Bonsteel
Last Friday I was searching for something to watch on Prime and came across the 2018 film “At Eternity’s Gate.” Somehow I wasn’t aware of the film when it was being shown in local theaters. I was also surprised since one of my favorite actors – Willem DaFoe – had been nominated for an Academy Award for his lead role as the deeply tortured and spiritual artist Vincent Van Gogh. So how did I miss it?
Well, now it’s a film that I can’t stop thinking about.
If you know anything about Vincent Van Gogh, you might think of bright yellow sunflowers and blue starry skies. Self-portraits. Irises. The potato eaters. He was a prolific painter amassing a catalog of close to 2000 drawings and paintings, with the best known works completed during the last three years of his life. That alone is stunning since Van Gogh was known to suffer from long periods of psychotic episodes as well as times of great productivity. The image of a tortured artist, unknown by most and ignored by the art world during his lifetime, certainly comes to mind.
There is a powerful scene in the film where a priest is addressing the painter’s mental state to determine if he should be freed from the asylum in which Van Gogh is being treated. The priest challenges Van Gogh’s statement that he believes that his unique artistic vision is indeed a divine gift from God. The priest then shows the artist one of his darker, more haunting and disturbing paintings and asks, ” Why then would God give you such a gift if it keeps you in such misery?” Van Gogh’s response to the priest is “Maybe God made me a painter for people who aren’t born yet. It is said, “Life is for sowing. The harvest is not here yet.”
Vincent Van Gogh’s creative brilliance and impact upon modern art would not be recognized until well after his tragic death at the age of 37. Today he is considered one of the greatest Dutch painters of all time, leaving the world a legacy that will be enjoyed for generations.
Coincidentally, the subject of legacies came up last week at the vestry meeting. It was a brief conversation but one I thought more about afterwards.
Do we understand our legacy as purely a financial obligation? Of course as stewards of our church, we are expected to support the ministry of St. John’s as best we are able. Obviously we can’t continue to run the church if we can’t pay our bills. While our wardens and vestry are working very hard to find wise solutions, they can’t do it alone. It’s difficult to admit but no amount of magical thinking will solve our financial problems. Hoping we hit the lottery will not end our worries.
But a legacy can also be much more than a financial gift or a gift of property. What each one of us can do – what our individual legacies can be – is to step up and volunteer our time and talents now. While we do not yet know what our future may hold, we are still a community that can thrive on service and love for one another, even in the midst of great challenges. Our faith teaches us that we will always find joy and hope when we serve the church we love and the world around us. I believe this is certainly true at this moment in our history.
St. John’s seeds were planted close to 200 years ago. Over the years many have labored to keep the church strong and a constant and visible presence in Kingston. Their commitment was their legacy. I believe that we can continue to be this presence, even if we are called to be so in a new way. We are the sowers once again. But the harvest is not here yet.
Deacon Sue Bonsteel |
